The following fictitious storyline is based on testimonies of high school students:
Blair: So, how has school been treating you? Anything that’s piqued your interest so far, perhaps a subject or maybe…a boy?
Missy: Well…
Jade: Oh my god, yes! Tell us everything!
Missy: Well, I’ve met this guy from Business and Society, and we started texting last night. It’s nothing serious, though. I told him I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship, so we’re just talking right now.
Blair: What is your definition of “we’re just talking”? Are you guys just friends, then?
Missy: Not really. Have you ever heard of a situationship?
Jade: Oh no. Missy have you ever been in a situationship before?
Missy: No, but I’ve learned what it is through TikTok, and a few of my friends have just started being in one.
Blair: You’re joking, right? Have you ever heard of the expression “don’t trust everything you’ve seen on the internet”?
Jade: Blair, please let her down easy; remember how hard it was to get you out of your situationship.
Blair: I just don’t think she knows what she’s just involved herself in. Based on my experience, being in a situationship isn’t as carefree as you would think. Do you even know what being in one entails?
Missy: Well, I think I do. Isn’t a situationship similar to what training wheels are for a bicycle? Riding a bicycle with training wheels is much easier than like without, and it prepares you for the actual bike.
Blair: You don’t actually know what a situationship is, do you? Being in a situationship is nothing like riding a bike with training wheels. It’s not this arrangement where you’ll have the luxury of keeping things simple. It’s frustrating and complicated. At least if you’re in a relationship, you’ll have the security.
Missy: So maybe I’m not really sure what a situationship is, but from what I’ve heard from my friends that are in committed relationships—having no security sounds amazing. Since you don’t have to commit to that person entirely, you don’t have to remember every single milestone you’ve reached. This arrangement is way easier than being in a relationship.
Jade: You must admit that she’s right. Don’t you remember when you were in a situationship? You skipped youknow-who’s biggest football game to complete your notes for a Socratic seminar, and he wasn’t even mad at you.
Blair: Fine, I won’t deny that being in a situationship doesn’t have its perks, but having no commitment isn’t as nice as you imagine it to be. Since you both aren’t formally in a relationship, he can “mingle” with as many people as he likes. And you can’t say anything without implying that you want something beyond what you both already have, which isn’t what you wanted, right?
Missy: First, I don’t think I’ll say anything to him. Also, the way I see it, if he’s not tied to you, you’re not tied to him. This means while he’s “mingling,” I’m allowed to do so too, right? And, in the end, I can still go back to him with no hard feelings.
Blair: Is that what you want? Do you know the emotional torment that comes from simply flirting with another person? Humans are very possessive by nature. How long do you think it’ll take one of you to experience a sense of betrayal or jealousy? When unwanted feelings start to get involved, what will you do then?
Missy: I would just leave. I think you’re forgetting that being in a situationship means you can just walk away. You can leave it all behind, and he can’t say anything because, like you said, we aren’t formally in a relationship. So, if he develops unrequited feelings, I’ll just leave him.
Jade: Missy, what Blair is trying to say is that one way or another, feelings will get mixed up into this arrangement. It’ll either be you that gets hurt, or the one inflicting the pain. We’re not saying that being in a relationship won’t have the same outcome, but from our experience, we’ve found it hard to leave. We’re just trying to warn you so you don’t experience the same heartbreak that we have.
Missy: I think I can manage.
Blair: All I can say is good luck. You’re definitely gonna need it.
